I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Randomize
