kristin has been a bad kristin
I met the friendliest cop last night
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
