Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize