you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
