I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My life is pants optional.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
