So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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