Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
