there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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