It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im holly from the hills drunk
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
