There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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