how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
