that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
