everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
