I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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