I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
