It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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