I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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