fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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