I must be too annoying 4 u.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
