He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
