I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
