ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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