I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
