so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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