I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
