So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
This baby is an asshole
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
