God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize