that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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