Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
