Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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