I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
