Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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