i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
