I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We left the knife in your bed.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
How naked do you want me to be?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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