just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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