Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think my fart just growled at me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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