ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
