I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
