I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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