At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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