But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
