went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
