no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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