Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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