Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
