There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
