I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You're like the curious george of whores
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
