So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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