Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
