I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
