Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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