I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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