i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
