They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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