Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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