So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
