I wannas sexs uuuuu
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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