sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
