I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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