Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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