She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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