Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
